i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
