I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
