If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
