apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
