I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
