We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
