is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
