I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I did not marry a roomba.
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