He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's not a walk of shame if you run
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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