Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
