He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
