So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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