you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
