Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
