Can i not drive my cunt home
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
