But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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