he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
