yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
