like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
