Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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