Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
