It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
