he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
