He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
