; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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