Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
