I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
