The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
