i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
