i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
