Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
