dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
