oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
