I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
