Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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