He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
