If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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