Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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