If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
