Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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