If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
