Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
