dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
