okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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