I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
