Do vagina's smell?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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