Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
