my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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