It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When are your genitals available?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
