shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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