Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
