Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
