I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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